I live off the land well water, raisin’ my crops I repay with poop– Redneck Haiku
Ed-Jer-Cay-Shun. ok. Please use that in a sentence? This spelling bee sucks.– Redneck Haiku
Tearin’ up mountain in my 4 wheel drive pick up. Killin’ baby tree– Redneck Haiku
Camoflauge on me. Kids too. Huntin’ for some cheeseburgers. Kill them...– Redneck Haiku
I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than...– Interesting quote…. some people fuck themselves by giving up their life to another instead of pursuing the dreams they entered the world with intending to birth into fruition. You either couple with someone who wants you to succeed or you couple with someone who doesn’t give a shit...
Ay-rabs are evil! eyein’ their wife’s every move! Am I an...– Redneck Haiku
North city slickers Think they damn know everything You don’t have to...– Redneck Haiku
Gave my wife this gift. You relax today baby. Clean up tomorrow.– Redneck Haiku
Huntin’ n’ fuckin’ I heard people go to school. My life is...– Redneck Haiku
Camo green n’ black I don’t need no red, pink, blue. Man knows...– Redneck Haiku
Dog won’t fetch paper! Attack the Daily News, mutt! Dog like me,...– Redneck Haiku
Tryin’ boots, might get. sip a beer, maybe I buy. Test drive women too– Redneck Haiku
Gotta car, wife, chair, dirty books, tooth brush cup I own all of that– Redneck Haiku
What? Electric cars??? Gasoline smell uplifts me NASCAR, engines, tits– Redneck Haiku
Exposing my crack Problem with overheating Breeze is a coolant– Redneck Haiku
Teeth sayin’ goodbye! Filin’ divorce, no lawyer! Left me for sink...– Redneck Haiku
Camo green black tux Gimme my little statue! Thankin’ God and deer.– Redneck Haiku
Every action has reaction. Like me drinkin’ til 2. Late for work!– Redneck Haiku
why I write Redneck Haiku
Because I do stand up comedy…. and I created a character that wears a Confederate Flag t-shirt with Billy Bob teeth… and the character recites the haiku onstage. And he wears a trucker hat. And he’s from the lower midwest. So what. To those who think it is a stab at their meat and potaters lifestyle or assume I’m an asshole, name a comic who isn’t one behind the...
Schoolwork ain’t for me! Ask yer teacher fer help, Son. My movie is on.– Redneck Haiku
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you....– - William Arthur Ward Those who criticize are the ones who never learned who they were or achieved their true potential and THUS became bitter….. Find yourself and you will be happy. I am.
Me to you is what dinner is to table so let me get on you.– Redneck Haiku
Keepin’ an eye out! Democrats takin’ my gun! My small town values!– Redneck Haiku
My mouth is open Massage gums. One sleepy tooth. Help me chew my food.– Redneck Haiku
Gotta keep my wife Controlled. She thinks for herself. That ain’t good...– Redneck Haiku
No person is worth your time if they make you cry– told to me once and that is very good advice.
The only homeless in my town is the Dentist. I don’t care ‘bout...– Redneck Haiku
Drinkin’ money. Check Got a chain on my wallet. All my friends at bar.– Redneck Haiku
Why pay one fifty to put down your sick doggy. Cheaper to run over.– Redneck Haiku
Meat and potaters Beer and pussy, pornos too. Them are my fav’rite– Redneck Haiku
My chest is hairy! Peacocks show off bright feathers. I open my shirt.– Redneck Haiku
Went down to the store. Got a couple girly books. This is art to me.– Redneck Haiku
man was meant to work woman was meant to tend house !! what’s this...– Redneck Haiku
I don’ know how to cook like wife, clean like wife and shit out rosy...– Redneck Haiku
These colors don’t run! But I run to the bathroom Fried chicken kills...– Redneck Haiku
No one has the right to tell you who you are and control your life, cause it’s...– this is true…. I think someone needs to read this… maybe read it again so they get the point…. and man up.
a little sumtin' sumtin'
there is one thing that really pisses me off. the attitude of ignorance. Why? when one is ignorant, they tend to shit on someone else’s parade. Like trying to shut them up or cut them off from good things. Why? well, more than likely that ignorance stems from being unable to understand the world. sure they might comprehend green light, yellow light, red light…. when they are sober of...
Chew my food for me! Ah got brown stumps in mah mouth Mouth trees got chopped!– Redneck Haiku
If you gonna leave, you can take the kids but not ol’ Yeller my dog– Redneck Haiku
Do you think one wakes up from their own bullshit when they are miles and miles away from the pile?
Gonna start over People are not what they were….. Dumb choices they made– Duh! Haiku
Take your meds and pills Sugar coat reality Brain wiring off– Mental Haiku
Dentist? What? Hell no! Regular doctor visits? Fuck you asshole! Shit!– Redneck Haiku
I don’t understand lonely parts of Tennessee Man bosses woman– Redneck Haiku
Day 3 your crush
I prefer Orange Crush. Anything other than that, the answer is No. I almost added a cuss word before No. Whoa
Feb 2 Q
Best Friend I have a few. They are far away. Nothing like Oprah and Gloria. Is that her name? I keep a circle of bf’s. They all provide something different. Cessie, Honkey Cheese, to name a couple.
Feb 1st Q
Parents I have two. Good enough answer.
should I fill this out on a daily basis?
Letters 1. Your Parents 2 - Your best friend 3 - Your crush 4 - Someone from your childhood 5 - The person you wish you could be 6 - A sibling 7 - An ex 8 - Your dreams 9 - Your favorite internet friend 10 - Someone you wish you could meet 11 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to 12 - A stranger 13 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to 14 - The person you hate/caused you...
some people were not meant to go Topless Tuesday accept your limits– Redneck Haiku