May 2011
152 posts
Please tell me I did not use up my haiku ability…… I’m doing this Hemmingway style with a bottle from now on.
April 2011
125 posts
“Two hundred fifty.
Written with anger, laughter
True emotions”
– My Haiku
150 haiku away from book 2……
Lebanese Haiku will be 3rd book. or Arab Haiku …. The Mohammed ones will be my undoing.
Better than being trapped in an old body at 70.
People like Trump and Holy Profit Franklin Graham seem to be more about removing Obama because of his skin color. Pushing the Prez to provide documents that he even exists? Teabaggers please!! Racist shit bags.
“Mac an’ cheese dinner.
Piece of gum. Hashbrowns. Doc found....”
– Redneck Haiku
“Bought girl Promise Ring
She went back to her Cowboy.
Now it’s his cock...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Garbage. Church dumpster.
Why pay City. God takes it.
My tithe offering.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Underwear has holes.
Left nut out. Pushing back in.
Now right nut is out.”
– Redneck Haiku
Trump is a Carnival Barker. To actually hope he runs just to vote for him is a ridiculous choice.
I think people fall for bullshit far too easy.
“Spread out on mah bed.
Ate too much. Can’t move. Farted.
Smells like mah...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Asleep on toilet.
Pushin’ wore me out. Eyes shut.
Red Bull before poop.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Lottery tickets
Scratch an’ lose. No jackpot!
Guy behind me wins!!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Layin’ on the couch.
Floor has beer bottle carpet.
Damn right ah drank...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Family in car.
Together. Quality time.
Watchin’ trains go by.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Backyard crop circles.
Flattened mah tomato plants!!
Find ship with red...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Raw chicken spoiled.
Sat in fridge might bit too long.
Pour on seasonings.”
– Redneck Haiku
“My outhouse condemned.
City wants to cement fill.
I use for garden!!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Wrote up ad fer wife.
Need cooker n’ cleaner please.
No one answering.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Them Orientals.
Speak English or leave country.
I like their buffets”
– Redneck Haiku
Even I am guilty of making my life difficult just to please another. Dumb move.
We have one life right now. Instead of piling sandbags on our own, go for hopes and dreams.
“Eatin’ church potluck.
Sun baked potato salad.
Trail to bathroom.”
– Redneck Haiku
16 haiku left to write. The well of creativity still laps over the sides of containment.
A second book? Heck ya!
Let’s try self dissatisfaction heaped over some more drinking. Not funny subjects but we can’t deny they happen.
I know people who would prefer I write about bunnies and rainbows. That has to be an interesting world to mentally ground one’s existence in.
Does it...
I threw up in my mouth a little
http://comedyunderthetap.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=22a5d526a8f5c32424a57e1a7&id=564ebfe32d&e=35a5cbf344
Dear Anonymous Reader
This is the link to watch me Tuesday night online.
I’m performing stand up and reading Redneck Haiku.
By the way, 17 more and I’m at 250 haiku. 200 will go to create a book.
What offensive subject will I cover to fill my haiku deficit? ...
We all enjoy our own individual hobbies. Mine is writing.
Tomorrow night Redneck Haiku hits the stage once again.
I will find the link that has a live stream of the event. Then you, Anonymous Reader, can match a face to this apparently hateful poetry. LOL
Making art is never above criticism.
:::sigh::::
“Fell off the wagon.
Pay spent. Drinkin’ mah profits.
Investing in self.”
– Redneck Haiku
I have to find an artist to do the cover of my haiku book.
At my dad’s suggestion, I’m submitting to Reviews he has had his work published in.
Whoever reads them anonymously, I do hope you enjoy them.
Thank you.
Comedy writing makes me happy.
“Bar Happy Hour
Pickled eggs, pretzels, tall beer.
Protein, carbs, and fats.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Lived next to bar.
People peed outside mah place.
Rainy on Fridays.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Front yard collection.
Car tires, about twenty.
You want? 10 bucks each.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Highway restroom smell.
Void of flowers and pine cones.
Warm fertilizer.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Hittin’ the Barn Dance.
Plaid shirt starch pressed. Boots shined....”
– Redneck Haiku
“End of the world soon.
Not happy. I love Slim Jims.
Meatsticks in Heaven.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Moonshine brain damage.
Years of drinkin’. Bi Polar.
Was yellin’...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Thinkin’ retired.
What to do. Court shows? Bingo?
Nap? Fish? Eat pudding?”
– Redneck Haiku
“Car blastin’ Country.
Jazz? Blues? No way! Rock? Get out!
This is...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Caught a fish today.
Neighbor has koi pond. Fat. Orange.
Where’s tartar...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Speed, 10 mph
Riding lawnmower to town.
Groceries in grass catch.”
– Redneck Haiku
“32 ounce pop.
Two straws. Gas station nachos.
Baby wants chili.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Holiday dinner.
Ham, cheese, crackers, Capri Sun.
Tasty Lunchables.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Relatives over.
Eating mah food. Bathroom stinks.
Watchin’ mah TV!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Wife’s cooking makes gas.
Metal belt buckle crooked.
My waist expanded.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Crunchin’ chips an’ cheese.
Gas station nachos. Dinner.
Night out...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Don’t own tennis shoes.
Or sandals, slippers, loafers.
Cowboy boots. All...”
– Redneck Haiku
“My appendix burst.
School Nurse won’t cut me open!!
Biology Class?”
– Redneck Haiku
“Gave School Nurse my scrip
Pissed at me again! Called cop.
But students have...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Choppin’ wood out back
Took shirt off. Eyes are watchin’
Missus next...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Ear hair gettin’ long.
Twisty strands. Words netted.
Q-tip has vowels”
– Redneck Haiku
“5 fish on stringer
I fought them all. Pulled them in!
I’m a man, dammit!!!”
– Redneck Haiku
“My antenna ball
Damn proud of it! Mah prize.
Carnival treasure”
– Redneck Haiku