July 2011
53 posts
“Romancin’ mah wife. /
Hotdogs. Coke. Porno playin’. /...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Everything camo. /
Pants. Shirt. Coat. Teeth camo too.
Rotten green and black.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Camo painted car. /
Cops can’t see me when ah drive. /
When I’m in...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Penis came alive. /
Angels applied the paddles. /
One shot then coma.”
– Redneck Haiku
“No beer in Utah?? /
You can’t party over milk!! /
Tit bar and water???”
– Redneck Haiku
“Stood outside naked. /
Balls caught the wind. Hit mah jaw. /
Damn low hangy...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Ah might go mission. /
Teach savages to fuck right. /
30 second class :-(”
– Redneck Haiku
“Missionary work. /
Missionary position? /
Ah can do that work!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Titty pic on wall. /
Mah religion. Mah maker. /
Booby salvation.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Eatin’ at diner. /
8 dollars of food. Buck tip. /
2 more to pinch ass.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Family time is gold. /
Love time silver. Food is gold. /
Porn is platinum.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Bought me a guitar. /
Bartender said I can play /
Gotta pay this tab!!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Truth is in bottle. /
God found in 24 case /
found shit in pants too”
– Redneck Haiku
381 Redneck Haiku in mah book. Gawdamn!!!
200 will be a published bound presentation.
That bullshit line “everything happens for a reason” might be valid in this case. There is a very good reason why I wrote Redneck Haiku. After discussing the subject with my mentor Tim, we agreed my poetry will be what I am known and remembered for.
As they say at the Oscars ” I’d like...
Please buy this for me →
“In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’...”
– Osho (via lailitagrooves)
2 separate thoughts to share.
Attachments are formed by living creatures. We form them because we feel. If you stop feeling then you are a sociopath. That is dangerous. Casey Anthony is a cold hearted sociopath.
Seeing the story someone else is living is always interesting. When they go from desirable and worth chasing just because the heart has attached to them for good reason ….to...
“Enlightenment is waking up one day and saying to yourself, without exception....”
– SST (via cjroberts)
~Fucking Brilliant. Love this. (via shamanfox)
I love it. People who claim to be God should read this twice to figure out they should stop claiming to be God. Hello???? Knock knock??
I’d recommend buying Bear Hollow and turning it into a commune or a church. And build the fence higher to keep the gum’mint out.
It is hard to love someone whose personal identity changes like the colors of a chameleon.
Outside influences suck and can eat shit and die.
“Stuck in mah outhouse. /
I’m a hot fudge dispenser. /
Gawdamn wife’s...”
– Redneck Haiku
I can’t stop shitting.
“If someone doesn’t agree with your opinion, then that’s their fucking problem,...”
– George Carlin (via dougstumblr)
:-D (via shamanfox)
So if you don’t like my haiku. That’s ok. Come here and give me a hug.
“Had to stop running. /
My balls dangle lower now. /
From pounding on feet.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Shit on a shingle. /
Meat, gravy over white bread. /
This is fine dining.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Fartin’ in the car. /
I’m sorry. I can’t help it. /
Got poopoo...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Gawdammit! I’m mad! /
Water spilled on titty book! /
Mah Mona Lisa”
– Redneck Haiku
“I love baloney. /
A 24 ounce bone- in. /
All baloney meat.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Sat on the toilet. /
Nut hairs catchin’ water drops. /
Hard to read a...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Damn exercise bike! /
Feet moving! Body sweating! /
Still not at the store!!”
– Redneck Haiku
“Mah pornography./
Mine. All mine. Buy your own books!!/
Ah worked for these...”
– Redneck Haiku
“The massage special/
Gum rub around empty spots/
Make mah mouf’ feel good”
– Redneck Haiku
“Titty books in house/
Bathroom. Living room. Bedroom./
Kitchen. Garage. Porch.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Sittin’ on toilet/
Where I do mah best thinkin’/
Smell opens mah...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Bathroom my office/
Wooden desk before toilet/
Shittin’ n workin’”
– Redneck Haiku
“Hittin’ the bottle/
Makes me sleepy. Penis too./
He and I can’t...”
– Redneck Haiku
“Confederate flag/
Pork n beans. Biscuits. Gravy./
All packed in lunchbox.”
– Redneck Haiku
“Viagra in effect/
My turtle sticks out of shell/
Please pet my turtle”
– Redneck Haiku
“Two day old road kill/
Gonna make me beef jerky/
Spices remove smell”
– Redneck Haiku